A Tale of Glory - don't leave it untold

Why do we make New Year’s Resolutions?  I’m personally not that fond of New Year’s resolutions – even the word resolute gives me pause…because I’ve been known to fail, fail, fail to be as ‘resolute’ as I planned.  Now don’t get me wrong, there are many changes I’ve made in my life that took resolve to accomplish, but all of the really successful ones were not made on New Year’s Day. Would you like a new tradition on New Year’s Day?  This can be fun, won’t take long to do, and it can give you a very delicious new perspective.

Look back at the previous year.  Reframe the story of your year as if you were telling someone a story about someone else, unknown to you.  This person (you) has to be the hero of the story - include mistakes and disappointments, but include lessons learned, good deeds done, and successes, even if they are as small as you showered at least every other day or so :).  Remember, every great story has negative and positive aspects, so do your utmost to be objective in all that you did during the year, trying your best to leave your emotion out of it.  Instead, tell a great story and be the LOVING creator of your character.

When we look at ourselves this way, it is amazing to see all that we are and all we’ve accomplished!  And when we treat ourselves like an author’s lovingly created hero or heroine, we can have the author’s compassion and love for what that character’s journey.  We can realize we are exactly where we are meant to be, and sometimes we can see why.  The tidbits come together to weave quite a tapestry – usually of love and accomplishment and growth.

I have used this tool with some of my clients (more formally, of course, with pieces of their life) – and they love it.  They get to see themselves in a different, more compassionate, surprising light.  And they can give themselves a break and realize that, yes, they are on a right path - sometimes doing amazing things and making tons of progress without even knowing it - mistakes, regrets, successes, and all that involves.

Here’s to telling your story…the real story about you and where you are going and how you are getting there.  Be the loving Author.  Show compassion.  And get real about how wonderful you are just being you on the path you’re on.  It’s who we love!

And nice little side benefit?  You are creating the foundation for your next year’s tale, a tale in which you will see yourself more as a hero with fine, human qualities and goals and accomplishments…and you won’t even need a New Year’s Resolution to do it!

It is the Season...

It is the season. Lights, sounds, scents...

Subtle and easy, but festive, decorations...

Friendly, casual gatherings, grateful toasts.

Abundantly flavorful food, easily prepared...

Good times, kids home from college, lots of energy in the house...

Sound of young people video gaming, playing poker, pool 'tournaments.'

Long breakfasts, family dinners, fabulous conversations...

Board games, Theater, Movies, Netflix...

Joyful, less-is-more, shopping.

Allowing, relaxing, loving...

Enjoying, appreciating ...

Less doing, more being.

Wishes of Joy to those we know, love, and cherish...

Holding space to savor the most precious gift of any day or season...

Precious time with my amazing loved ones.

May your holidays brighten your heart.

A little Thanksgiving secret...

This year was a very special Thanksgiving, for several reasons.  For about 10 or 11 years, we have celebrated Thanksgiving with our core San Jose ‘Thanksgiving Families,’ the Farley’s and the Hauge’s, and the Kim’s.  But this is the last year we'll do this in San Jose because the Farley’s, founder’s of this tradition, will be moving to South Carolina and starting a new adventure; and we Droz's are not entirely sure at this point where we will be next year at this time...new adventures in store for us, too. Most of the time, we host the party.  We have a great house for this - not that big, but with a layout that has let the kids run from room to room when they were younger, a living-room-turned-game-room (who uses a living room?) for video games, playing pool, watching movies, games - just a kid hangout - and a dining room small enough to make it VERY cozy – in fact, when we include extra guests, we spill out into the foyer, moving  in the kitchen table to provide a dining room extension.

We all look forward to this day.   Getting ready is a labor of anticipation and love for all of us.  For my part, I clean the house (thank goodness for company coming because it actually motivates me), prepare and cook my portion of the food (including turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc) – then decorate and setup.   The other Thanksgiving families bring  wines, breads,  pies, green bean casserole, soups, appetizers, cranberry sauce, and on, and on.  ABUNDANCE GALORE!  There is much sharing and taking home of food at the end of the day, as you can imagine.

I had two goals this year… maximum down time to spend with our son who was home for the weekend (we decided to go to the new Harry Potter movie on Thanksgiving morning), and I wanted to be P.R.E.S.E.N.T…really present…with my dear friends for this probable last San-Jose-Thanksgiving-Families gathering in our home.  I didn't even want any help with dishes, pots, pans (because, really, the kitchen is too small to have that many people in it cleaning up – and this has nothing to do with any control issues I may have, by the way ;) ).

This is where my secret comes in… I did not decorate...I did not make my apple pie…and though I served up plenty of food myself, I did not serve as much…AND (GASP!, HORROR!, BLASPHEMY!) I did not prepare and cook it from scratch!   I have never done that before on Thanksgiving.

Who did the cooking?  My new Thanksgiving BFF’s,  Trader Joe’s and Wholefoods Market!

All I did was shop (one of my favorite things to do in this life is grocery shop)… ingredients for the pumpkin pies (my guys make the pumpkin pies every year – no work for me – and I decided NOT to make my ‘famous’ traditional apple pie!), TJ’s pre-brined turkey, TJ’s frozen mashed potato balls (so good, there weren’t even any left by the time I made it to the food), TJ’s sweet potatoes w/cranberries, TJ’s scalloped potatoes, Wholefoods pre-chopped onions and celery (this is was the epitome of cooking laziness, in my opinion – really, I couldn’t even chop?) for TJ’s boxed cornbread stuffing mix, and BOXED GRAVY!  That was it!  I opened everything up, put it into my serving dishes, threw together the stuffing the night before, and my husband rotisserie’d the pre-brined turkey.

Guess what?  Not ONE person noticed that I hadn't prepared those side dishes.  The rotisserie turkey was moist and delicious.   An apple pie showed up…AND in addition to all the other food, each family brought a surprise decoration - lovely candles and a beautiful Poinsettia - so even that was taken care of with no effort or planning on my part!)  We all enjoyed laughter, love, and hours…the party went on ‘til almost midnight, and I wasn’t at all tired from 2 days of non-stop cooking!

I didn’t feel like a failure for not cooking from scratch…I just love that I have evolved to this point - in fact, I welcome it with enthusiasm!

So, here’s to Trader Joe’s and Wholefoods for providing me with a way to serve a fabulous turkey and tasty side dishes with little effort on my part.

…and a huge thanks to the star of cleanup duty this year - my dishwasher - leaving us all more face-to-face, story-telling, blissful sit-at-the-table time together.  But mostly, here’s to the last decade of wonderful holiday memories with friends and family, a toast to the bright and adventurous future for all of us, and also to ignoring the holiday ‘shoulds’ and just embracing what really matters.

It's Bursting Out of Me

Grateful and full of love for…. My man, my rock, my engineer with a heart and soul and wit, even amidst all that geeky fascination with all things technical, steady and reliable, yet surprising me when I least expect it with a new aspect of his wonderful self, who really loves me and still thinks I’m smart, wise, pretty, sexy, and desirable – I feel the same about you, love of my life.

My son, my greatest teacher, who has shown me time and time again what it means to assume the best in others, to have courage in the face of fear, to find your own way, and to love with a full heart…and who, in all of that, has managed to bring me beautifully into the fullness of being a mother. You rock in ways you cannot even be aware of yet, love of my life.

My Dad, for showing me what it means to be loyal and faithful, strong in his beliefs - and immense courage and humor facing Parkinson’s - even to the end.

My Mother, for showing me how I wanted to be as a mother, and for teaching me the glorious art of sewing.

My Mom (in-law), for showing me how, even in the midst of many sorrows life has brought her, how to maintain a loving and generous spirit, and showing me I could have a second mom.

My Father-in-law, for showing me the courage of never being too old to make major changes

My brothers, for awesome childhood memories, their love, and for their loving generosity in giving me the coffin flag at Dad’s burial service.

My brothers’ wives, and their love for me.

The entire Droz clan, the entire Aderholdt/Ackerman clan...blessed family.

My friends for life, the ones I grew up with, the ones that I met as an adult and have become like sisters, or brothers.

The best neighbors/friends ever.

So many wonderful friends from so many places that are a part of my life - some occasionally, some regularly.

All my FaceBook BFF’s, you know who you are - I feel like I’ve known some of you forever, and some of you, I have known at least a very long time.

All my new FB Friends that there is never enough time to talk to and really get to know .

All my wonderful clients throughout the years, especially the ones that have become friends, and especially the ones that allowed me to be of service (and helped me make a living).

All my mentors and teachers from both the incredible coaching community I am a part of and the community of Team Northrup.

SKYPE and the ability to talk with AND see, not only my son away at college, but many of my friends…for FREE.

Unlimited texting (wait…did I say that?!)

A warm house on a cold day, and cool house on a warm day, freedom, diversity, tolerance, change, love, compassion, the ability to say I’m sorry, the ability to learn something new every day, the ability to be able to give something back and be of service, every day.

My health. My personal growth. My awareness. My learning moments.

The ability and NEED to be thankful, every day, and finding this process has changed my life.

Life is such a gift - that we very often take for granted. People come and go, give and take, love and leave…and we get to be blessed with that entire cycle, sometimes missing it as it moves through our lives.

I hope you all take the time to raise your glasses (no matter what liquid is in them!) during this time of world-wide, culture-wide holidays and family gatherings, be in the moment, breathe through your heart and say ‘Thank You’ to all you are grateful for.

Hello World!

Ok, guys, peeps, you that know my fears, you that don’t...this cracked me up because it’s so ironic. I have a fearless American friend who fell in love with Paris 2 years ago and, in her 40’s, sold everything, packed everything else, and moved to Paris ON HER OWN!!  She was rusty in French, but went to school while there and picked it up again.  She is one of my current coaching clients.  We are working on daily life issues and creative ways to help her make a good living as a speech/presentation coach so she can continue to live in her beloved city.

She’s back to blogging because of me, and actually references that fact in her blog,  http://parispleasures.blogspot.com/2010/08/pithy-me.html.  I loved it!  I’m so glad she is back at it, sharing the city she loves through a fresh-eyed-view.

And the irony?  I have YET to write my first blog post!

Another client I’m coaching has written her first blog (soon to be posted) about the ‘empty elevator’ concept I explained to her when she was reflecting about how many people are now out of her life, and how they are being replaced with her real peeps.  Yes...a BLOG!

Clients’ blogs - 2 / Deb’s blogs - 0

Well, as of right now, that has changed.

I am successfully coaching clients to do what they love, to shine their light…in public. I want to walk the talk.  I don’t want to hide anymore – well – at least not today!  And WordPress's default blog title seems very appropriate, so I am using it for my first post.

If I am not willing to share - out loud - my ideas, my views, my joy in all my family, friends, and colleagues…my joy in L.I.F.E…because of a fear that my words may be viewed ‘unworthy’ of a blog post, how can I authentically encourage my clients to shine their light?

As someone very special once told me, “God is glad you're here.”

And he (the universe, your higher spiritual power, whatever) is glad you are here.  I'm glad you're here!  The world needs your gift - Now more than ever.  Think about it.  Don’t hide.

Hello World!

Clients’ blogs – 2 / Deb’s blogs – 1 :)