Why do we make New Year’s Resolutions? I’m personally not that fond of New Year’s resolutions – even the word resolute gives me pause…because I’ve been known to fail, fail, fail to be as ‘resolute’ as I planned. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many changes I’ve made in my life that took resolve to accomplish, but all of the really successful ones were not made on New Year’s Day. Would you like a new tradition on New Year’s Day? This can be fun, won’t take long to do, and it can give you a very delicious new perspective.
Look back at the previous year. Reframe the story of your year as if you were telling someone a story about someone else, unknown to you. This person (you) has to be the hero of the story - include mistakes and disappointments, but include lessons learned, good deeds done, and successes, even if they are as small as you showered at least every other day or so :). Remember, every great story has negative and positive aspects, so do your utmost to be objective in all that you did during the year, trying your best to leave your emotion out of it. Instead, tell a great story and be the LOVING creator of your character.
When we look at ourselves this way, it is amazing to see all that we are and all we’ve accomplished! And when we treat ourselves like an author’s lovingly created hero or heroine, we can have the author’s compassion and love for what that character’s journey. We can realize we are exactly where we are meant to be, and sometimes we can see why. The tidbits come together to weave quite a tapestry – usually of love and accomplishment and growth.
I have used this tool with some of my clients (more formally, of course, with pieces of their life) – and they love it. They get to see themselves in a different, more compassionate, surprising light. And they can give themselves a break and realize that, yes, they are on a right path - sometimes doing amazing things and making tons of progress without even knowing it - mistakes, regrets, successes, and all that involves.
Here’s to telling your story…the real story about you and where you are going and how you are getting there. Be the loving Author. Show compassion. And get real about how wonderful you are just being you on the path you’re on. It’s who we love!
And nice little side benefit? You are creating the foundation for your next year’s tale, a tale in which you will see yourself more as a hero with fine, human qualities and goals and accomplishments…and you won’t even need a New Year’s Resolution to do it!