Next weekend we will be making the trip, car loaded, to take our son to college.  We are so excited for him.  The university is fabulous, the campus, the town, the curriculum.  He is very ready and able to truly begin his life as a man on his own terms…ROCK it on his own terms, free and accountable to himself.

And I will miss, SO much, this child of mine that I love more than I ever thought possible.

We are a strong family unit of 3.  We’ve all always had a solid, close connection – from his birth, really, when for a few scary days, I got so sick that we briefly questioned if I was going to make it – to be able to actually get to know my son –  to be able to parent with my husband.  But I did – slowly – get well.  And we were so grateful…and our family of 3 was our bedrock.

We moved cross-country, from North Carolina to San Jose, when our son turned 5 and had just started kindergarten.  That kind of adventure will create an even stronger bond as you move away from family, friends, and familiarity to continue building your life in a brand new place. We’ve been blessed to find many wonderful friends and adopted families in our west-coast life.

I will be overjoyed to see him go build his adult life.  Our relationship will be forever changed – and I know this is a good thing, as it was destined, as it should be.

But a piece of me will be devastated not to be able to interact, on a daily basis, with this man-child of ours that we not only love, but like and respect.

Tim and I feel we received such a gift on this joyous ride we’ve had as parents for these many years.  And – sorry to those of you who have heard me say this MANY times 🙂 –  it has been the best ride of my life!

…So far.

Because there is actually a piece of me looking forward to the change.  I am looking forward to more time to focus on my blossoming career.  I’m looking forward to a new sense of freedom from coordinating everyone’s schedules, plans, meals, or nagging about chores, or worrying that he’s not getting enough sleep when I see the light under his door at 3am!

My husband and I will be more focused on us and our relationship, getting to know again that couple that became parents.  We will again go down a new, but faintly familiar, path as a couple living alone together – that in itself can be a scary thought, too, let me tell you!  .

So while I am savoring every moment of this week together (a week that is looming seemingly short of days), I am also looking forward to what our future will become.  And hopefully, as time goes on, our family unit will remain a strong grounding base, there for each other and any expansion as our son plays out his own cycle of life – as we watch him make his mark and build his own ‘family’ units with friends, spouse, children…

Who knows?

And that’s the true beauty and mystery of this adventure of life, the adventure of parenting.